Can You Recognize These 12 Signs of Feline Affection?
From headbutts to purrs, uncover the hidden messages in your cat’s actions. Explore the fascinating ways your feline companion communicates love.
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STORY AT-A-GLANCE
- Cats are an independent (but not anti-social) and it can be difficult to understand the intent of their behavior
- Cats very much love their humans — they just show it in more subtle, complex ways than dogs do
- As cat parents, it’s important we don’t assume our kitties are looking for food when they’re actually seeking attention and affection from us
People who’ve never spent time around cats often assume that their independent nature means they’re not loving or affectionate. But the fact is, most cats are devoted to their humans, it’s just that they’re low-key about it compared to their canine counterparts.
Dogs are a social species and live in packs in the wild. Cats aren’t anti-social, but they’re designed by nature to live independently. Since feline behaviors can be both subtle and somewhat mysterious, humans often need a little help understanding when kitty is being affectionate and loving.
Something else to keep in mind is that if you automatically assume your cat is looking for food rather than attention when she approaches you, you may miss opportunities for petting or cuddle sessions. Since the majority of felines in the U.S. are overweight or obese, we need to increase one-on-one time with our cats in place of giving extra treats or bowls of food.
With that said, let’s take a look at the many ways feline family members show love and affection for their humans. Like all non-verbal creatures, it’s about body language, behaviors, and vocalizations.
12 Signs Your Cat Loves You
- Slow blinking — If your cat gazes at you, then blinks, then opens her eyes wide, then slowly blinks a second time, she’s telling you she loves and trusts you. It’s the equivalent of a kitty kiss. You can return the gesture by blinking slowly at her and then turning your head slightly to the side to show her you’re relaxed and not at all threatening.
- Headbutting — This is a form of feline affection also known as head bunting. If your cat rubs up against your leg or bumps heads with you, she's "marking" you with her scent and claiming you as her own. Cats have scent glands in different locations on their body, for example, between the toes, and at the base and along the length of the tail. They also have them under the chin, at the corners of the mouth, the temples, and on the ears.
With all those scent glands on their head, it's no wonder many cats use their entire noggin when marking their human. So, the next time kitty bonks her furry little head against yours, smile through the pain, because kitties only scent-mark objects that are very important to them! - Grooming — Mother cats groom their kittens from the moment they're born, so being licked was one of your kitty's very first feelings of being cared for. Siblings raised together often groom each other throughout their lives. So, if your kitty is licking you, she's showing her love for you.
- Kneading — Also known as "making bread" or "making biscuits," kneading is an instinctive feline behavior kittens display shortly after they're born to stimulate the flow of milk from the mother's mammary glands. Adult cats who continue the behavior might be showing contentment, self-soothing when they feel stressed, or marking their human with the scent from the sweat glands in their paws.
Kneading is also linked to feline mating rituals. Some intact female cats knead more frequently as they're going into heat, while male cats usually become aggressive after kneading for a while. The behavior might also have its origins in wild cats who build nesting places with grass and leaves in which to rest or give birth, since kneading in most pet cats precedes settling down for a snooze. - Going belly-up — This is typically a greeting behavior, and when your cat does it, she’s showing you she feels relaxed, comfortable, and trusting in your presence. What she’s very likely not doing, despite appearances, is asking for a tummy rub, which is why she may dig her sharp claws into your arm if you attempt one. Instead, give her head a gentle scratch.
Most cats (not all, but most) don’t enjoy belly rubs. This is because if your kitty lived in the wild, predators would be a constant threat. The most vulnerable spot on your cat’s body is her belly. Just beneath the surface of that silky skin lie all her vital organs. - Meowing — When you speak softly and slowly to your cat, he may respond with short, quiet meows in return. However, if his meows get longer and drawn out, or turn to hissing, there’s a good chance he’s signaling he’s had enough.
- Purring — Newborn kittens can't yet see, so they are guided to their mother by her purr. That's why purring is a sign your cat is feeling content. Purring also lowers kitty's heart rate, so she may sometimes purr to sooth herself. Unless she’s ill or feeling stressed, rest assured her purring means she feels cared for by you.
An added bonus: research shows the sound of a cat’s purr can lower your blood pressure and reduce stress. - Greeting you at the door — Your cat was eagerly awaiting your return if he’s at the door when you arrive home. His “Yay, you’re home!” behavior might also include walking between your legs, curling his tail around your leg or shaking it quickly, and/or meowing.
- Tail pointing — When your cat walks toward you with her tail straight up in the air and perhaps with a slight kink at the tip, she’s happily greeting you. Be sure to acknowledge her “hello” and give her a gentle head or face scratch.
- Bringing you gifts — If your kitty has free, unsupervised access to the outdoors (not a good idea), he might return home with a lovely little "gift" for you now and then. It's just what you've always wanted, too — a dead mouse or one that's about to be.
You can relax, because this is another entirely natural behavior of feline predators. If the critter your cat brings you is dead, it is purely a gift. If it's still breathing, he’s bringing it to you so you can learn how to finish what he started. Mother cats often do this with their kittens to help the little ones learn how to kill prey. - Sleeping on you — Your cat is most vulnerable when she's sleeping, so where she chooses to snooze must feel safe and secure to her. If one of her favorite nap spots happens to be somewhere on your body, consider yourself well-loved by your kitty.
- Love biting — This show of love from your kitty can be a bit painful, especially if he nips at your nose or elsewhere on your face, as many cats do. Kitties nip each other affectionately, and their skin is tougher than ours, so your cat really doesn't understand his love bite isn't always pleasant for you.
Nipping seems to be an instinctive drive in some cats and so it's difficult to stop the behavior. But since it's pretty easy to predict when you're about to get "love bit," the best plan is to quickly get your face, finger or other body part out of his line of sight!
